I just finnished reading The bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I can just say one thing - this is a wonderful book about love and please read it! Oops, that was two things. Anyway, I’m so happy I finally did read it, it has been put away in my book shelve for years without me paying any attention to it. Until a couple of days ago.
Apart from being a wonderful story about love, the book got me thinking about some things:
Infidelity When do you cross the line? Is it okey inviting a man for dinner when you’re husband is not home? Is infidelity only the-going-to-bed part?
Love Is it worth giving up the love of your life becuase you are afraid the village gossip would break down the family if you create a scandal by running away from home?
Honesty After her death, Francesca writes a letter to her both children Carolyn and Michael, explaining about the love affair she had with Robert Kincaid all those years ago and how much it meant to her. She also explains that without meeting him, having those wonderful 4 days together, maybe she wouldn’t have been able to stay with them on the farm for such a long time. A affair that keeps the marriage together, what a contradiction. She askes them to understand this and to accept Robert as a part of their family. She ends her letter like this:
Robert Kincaid taught me what it was like being a woman in away that few women, maybe none, will ever experience. He was fine and warm, and he deserves, certainly, your respect and maybe your love. I hope you can give him both of those. In his own way, through me, he was good to you.
As a child I think I would have some difficulties understanding why my mother’s lover should have a place in the family. But maybe that is possible? Then it definately deserves recognition. It’s a way of looking at the family and its consisting parts that reminds me of the German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger’s theories.
Hellinger looks upon the family as a system and all persons within this system have to be recognised. If someone for some reason is shut out, this influences the whole system and most probably someone else will try and take that persons place. In this case, maybe Michael or Carolyn would feel their mothers lost love and somehow, without knowing, trying to compensate her. This leads to a disturbance in the system. Hellinger also includes former lovers. If a person was a big part of your life, he or she too deserve a place in the family.
After the first chock, maybe reading the letter Francesca left is a relief to her children. Now they finally get to know a part of her she shut them out of when she was alive. And Carolyn gets an explaination to the strange fight about the pinkt dress they had when she was a teenager.
More blogs on The bridges of Madison County:
Ingrid got an assignment to write a reader response about book.
Priyanka Kumar identifies herself with Robert Kincaid.
Catwomen mixes a review of the movie and the book.
You’re Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland!